So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
