she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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