i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
