i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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