At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
