My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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