id be glad to
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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