I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
