Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
