that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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