You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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