forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
