I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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