can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
