I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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