I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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