What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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