she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
