Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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