Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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