I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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