Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
