we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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