i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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