In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
