I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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