I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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