yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
