Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
