If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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