I wanna bring you to show and tell
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
