Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
