I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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