i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
