I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
