Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
