kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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