the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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