We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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