don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
