Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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