so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
what day is it and did you see me today?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
