After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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