Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm at about main and main street
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
