That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
