This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
