Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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