FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
