so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
