just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
