thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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