the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
